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Fallout Shelter is a Horrible, Horrible Tease

So, Fallout Shelter has been on the Android market for just around a week now.

As soon as I read the announcement, I was on the Play Store like a toddler on an electrical outlet: I just wanted to stick a fork in and reap the inevitable fun rewards. There's still just under three months left until launch, but this was going to be what would keep me going until then - I couldn't go hunting mirelurks and cheating Wasteland settlers out of their caps, but hey, at least I had something new in the Fallout universe to get into.

And get into it I did. If you've played the likes of Tiny Tower, then you already know the kind of gameplay to expect. I am a huge sucker for this shit. Build away, always upgrade, get new Dwellers so you can build new rooms, train their SPECIAL stats - in fact, as I'm typing this paragraph, I'm picking my phone up and putting it down routinely because I'm trying to rush my resources. Stimpaks don't just appear out of thin air, you know.

The basic concept of the game, if you haven't played it yet (and why NOT) is that you're building your own Vault-Tec vault as Overseer; you assign your dwellers to work in certain rooms depending on which of their SPECIAL stats is the most acclimating, you collect resources to keep everything running, and you make babies with that one guy who's got like SUPER awesome stats that you've designated as your Vault Stud, and this goes on pretty much forever. You unlock new sorts of rooms depending on how many Dwellers you accumulate, and the game is just super damn addictive.

My big problem is that it's just not good enough.

I try to be as patient as I can, but I would be lying hysterically if I said it was one of my strong suits. Don't get me wrong, Bethesda did us a kindness by announcing the release date was only six months into the future, instead of <month> 2016. Now instead of enjoying Shelter like I should, I'm playing ravenously and constantly, like a junkie who can't score the good stuff and settles for snorting Sriracha off a hipster's bum or whatever. I secede that that's my fault, but every time I send one of my Dwellers out into the Wasteland to hunt for caps, guns and more pyjamas to add to my already staggering collection, I'm remorseful that I can't follow them. The window that pops up detailing my Dweller's happenings shooting Yao guai and complaining about fire ants is like a giant tease.

I'm going to huff and stamp my feet and pout, because I want my Fallout 4 now, but while my Dwellers get to have their little outings, I'll have to be content with shrinking back inside my vault and training up my one Dweller's Agility so he can at least make a decent Salisbury Steak when they return.