Oh, Bethesda. My faith in you is well-placed.
If you were able to catch the conference last night then you were probably as slippery and wet from salivating as I was. We weren't given a slew of games to look forward to over the next year like with other conferences, but we were given less a buffet and more tapas: smaller morsels, but oh god they're so delicious. Maybe I should stop talking while I'm waiting for dinner.
In case you missed it, I'm going to do a quick round-up for you so you'll know what happened; if you didn't miss it, then enjoy the Bethesdagasm I'm about to throw down.
Doom - ID
Doom, guys. Did you see that shit? I'll be the first to say I didn't play a lot of Doom but I'll be damned if that didn't look cool.
It's gory, bloody, violent, quick-actioned, and badass. You wield big fucking guns like you like, chainsaw demons in the face, and steal dead guys' arms to access locked doors. The demon design is fantastic, and I've got to say that graphically, it's very, very impressive.
Aside from the necessary inclusion of multiplayer, Doom will feature something new called Snapmap - along with level-building capabilities, you can alter the game's physics and create your very own game modes that you can shoot your friends in the face in. This one's going to be popping out in Spring 2016 for XBOne, PS4 and PC.
Battlecry - Battlecry Studios
Not my favourite, most thrilling announcement, but a pretty cool looking game - Battlecry is a team-based online combat game seemingly geared towards TF2 fans. You can choose between five different characters with distinct combat styles and be the best at killing the other guys.
You can sign up for the beta now.
Dishonored 2 - Arkane Studios
Due to the little technical snafu that announced it early, this one was an unfortunate non-surprise, but getting to see it was exciting nonetheless. Dishonored was a unique game style with pretty addictive combat, and I'm hoping the sequel won't disappoint.
What's pretty awesome is that this time, you can play as Corvo, or his new mentor - Emily Kaldwin. What a twist!
The Elder Scrolls Online: Tamriel Unlimited - ZeniMax Studios
I have always been, and will always be, a massive Elder Scrolls fan - something about the way they did the Western RPG always stands out among others. Is it the deep lore? The addictive gameplay? Is it slamming giant hammers into the faces of fire-breathing dragons? Probably! Either way, it's unfortunate that TES:O didn't do so well, but I'm not complaining because I get to play it on my PS4 with no monthly fee now. It did well enough in sales when it was launched last week. Good job, guys.
While the content announcement for the game was a bit light, it was definitely exciting; the first chunk revealed a return to the Imperial City, but - twist! It's destroyed! The White Gold Tower is in ruins, bad guys are burning books, and every inch of the city is covered in demon attacks. What's cool, though, is how much of the city I still remember vividly from TES: Oblivion; I could recognize every district they showed, and I just fucking love it.
The latter video clip showed the new possibility to travel to Orsinium, the City of the Orcs. Very cool stuff.
Elder Scrolls: Legends
I wish there was more to say about this, but it's a pretty brief announcement: A mobile card-based battle game based on TES will be coming to mobile phones and tablets. It's probably a pretty solid Hearthstone clone, but since it's a TES property I'll be eating it up like day-old bagels.
Did you ever play Tiny Tower on mobile? There's tons of different versions across iOS and Android, and they are super fun. I played Tiny Death Star. It's Tiny Tower but you build a Death Star! I didn't think that could be surpassed, except they took the same build-and-manage motif and tacked Fallout onto it so now it's officially the best thing ever.
You play as Overseer and build up your own personal Vault. You can add new rooms that add functions like training S.P.E.C.I.A.L stats for your Vault Dwellers and it's your personal mission to keep them all happy and productive. You also equip them to run out into the wasteland by themselves to shoot Raiders and you can also command them to have sex to make new Vault Dwellers. You're a very hands-on kind of guy like that.
It's already out on iOS, unlucky Android slaves will have to wait until they announce a version on our superior screens.
Fallout 4 - Bethesda Softworks
Here it is you guys. They've already announced it and now that they pulled the tin tab back on our can of chunky meat-and-potatoes game soup, we get to stick it in the microwave and watch it be food.
I'll be going into more detail in a comprehensive Fallout 4 rundown (in case you didn't watch it or massively Google the information already), in all the criticism of not seeing any new features in the teaser trailer (it was really only a teaser, guys) they showed us everything we wanted to see; the tried-and-true Bethesda-flavoured gameplay makes its comeback with some steamy, salty new features in this amazing clambake.
It's expansive, it's pretty, and the Collector's Edition comes with a goddamned Pip Boy. Best of all, we get it November 10, 2015. It's a scant 5 months away.
Bethesda definitely rocked their conference, and I'm going to be stoked to see them do this again at a future E3 when they announce their next Elder Scrolls. Well done, guys. We're still friends.